Honor the Darkness: Rest is Not Weakness

Last week we talked about why October feels harder as daylight shrinks and yin energy increases. This week, let's look at why we resist what our bodies actually need during this season: rest.

Choosing Rest Over Perfection

I don’t know about you, but there is a part of me that dreads this time of year. While the summer is busy with activities and the occasional vacation, this time of year puts a LOT of pressure on Mom’s. This time of year puts a lot of pressure on moms. Dads feel it too, but culturally, moms are expected to create 'Instagram worthy' experiences for their families. When we fall short of those expectations, the shame can be overwhelming.

I want my family to have a wonderful holiday season. But Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas come in rapid succession, and as a small family, it feels like a lot. I love a decorated house, but I don't love the process of setting it up or taking it down. I used to go all out: elaborate fall displays, cedar garlands with ornaments draped over windows, popcorn and cranberry strings on the tree, the whole thing.

Now? I keep it simple. Fall decorations stay in the living room and entry. A simply decorated mantle, a few gourds, a fall table runner. Would I like more? Sure. But I don't want to do the work. Maybe that sounds selfish. Or maybe it's self-care.

Slowing down with the natural cycles of the season isn't lazy. It's strategic. Doing less now means you'll have the energy to show up for your family and work in ways that actually matter, not just ways that look good.

When we resist rest and power through instead, we deplete ourselves completely. Come spring, when our energy naturally wants to expand, we'll have nothing left. That's how burnout happens.

Creating Cozy Energy (Not Just Cozy Spaces)

You've seen those images online: cozy reading nooks, warm inviting bedrooms. You look around your house and wish you had that. But even if you created that perfect space, would you actually use it? Or would you still be running around doing things or doom-scrolling on your phone rather than reading that book you bought 6 months ago?

Physical comfort and energetic nourishment are different things. You can have the softest blanket and the perfect lighting, but if your nervous system is still running on overdrive, you won't feel cozy. You'll just feel restless in a pretty room.

Real coziness happens when your energy body can actually settle. When you can be still without your mind immediately jumping to the next task. When darkness feels safe instead of triggering your stress response.

This is especially important as days get shorter. If you've built an identity around productivity and constant motion, the earlier darkness can feel threatening instead of restful. Your body wants to slow down, but your mind fights it.

Let your kids see you resting without guilt. Sit with a book. Take a nap. Say no to activities because you need quiet time. Model that rest is productive, necessary, and nothing to apologize for.

When they resist bedtime or complain about being bored, remind them: 'Your body is doing important work when you rest. Just like trees need winter to grow strong for spring, you need this quiet time.'"

Mini Practice: Triple Warmer Neurovascular Hold

Purpose: Calm your stress response and signal to your nervous system that it's safe to rest.

When to use: Evening wind-down, in your cozy space, when you can't settle despite being physically comfortable, or anytime you feel wired and tired.

How to do it:

1. Get comfortable (sitting or lying down works equally well)

2. Make a "notch" with three fingers (thumb, index, and middle fingers) with your right hand and place it in the V-shaped indentation at the base of your throat, just above your collarbone. This area can be very sensitive, so touch lightly!

3. Place your left hand flat across the left side of your head with your palm on your jaw and your fingers touching your temple.

4. Take 3-5 deep, slow breaths

5. Switch hands: left hand in the throat notch, right hand on right temple

6. Take 3-5 more deep breaths

This hold calms your triple warmer meridian (your body's stress response system) and helps shift you from "doing" mode into "being" mode.

Journal Prompt

Where am I fighting against the season instead of flowing with it?

Affirmation of the Week

I allow myself to rest, restore, and honor my body's natural rhythms.

This Month’s Download: Wellness Practices for Darker Days

A printable guide with practical ideas for indoor nourishment, outdoor connection, light management, and nutrition. Add your own practices for quick reference on days when you need support but can't think clearly. Check your email for the link.