Recently, my husband and I were helping a family member go through their basement and decide what to keep and get rid of. They are considered elderly but still in excellent health. However, they are recognizing the energetic weight the extra stuff they no longer use has on them. I suspect they have also heard plenty of horror stories of children who have had to wade through piles and piles of things while grieving a loved one and they don't want that to happen to their children.
As we made our way through cabinets, sorting and deciding what should go and what should stay, the family member thanked me more than once for being willing to listen to their story. You see, they tried doing this project with others, but these people dismissed their stories or flat out told them they didn't care and to "just get rid of it".
The thing is, everything has energy whether it's the energy of a good (or bad) memory, the energy of excitement around a project that it was (or was meant to be) used for, or sometimes its the energy of fear "if I let this go, I might need it later and then I'll have to spend more money" or "if I let this go, I'll forget about the good times".
Try this - go around your house and pick up an item. Close your eyes and check in with yourself to see how it makes you feel. Does it inspire happy memories or negative ones? I remember years ago a friend of mine had a tool that he used that while fully functional, caused him to experience resentment due to the negative memories associated with the individual who gave it to him. I encouraged him to get rid of it and buy a new one that did not hold those memories. While ideally we would not waste money on something new when we already have something functional, this is an example of a reason TO do so as long as it is within your means. Sometimes it's even better to just go without something rather than keep something that evokes a negative energy within you.
In recent years, there have been quite a few books (and TV shows) about getting rid of stuff. In fact, my husband and I went on a Marie Kondo "tidying" kick a few years ago and got rid of a lot of things. I know a lot of people feel strongly in favor or against her technique - I'm somewhere in the middle. I don't think that we can always reduce things to a purely "does/doesn't bring me joy" category - I can tell you right now I could pick up every piece of clothing in my closest and NONE of it would inspire "joy" in me, nor would my cleaning products! However, I agree with her on the importance of expressing gratitude for something as we let it go from our lives.
Here are a few ideas to support you in letting go of the physical (and energetic) stuff that no longer serve you:
Express gratitude for it before you put it in the "give away" pile.
Find a trusted friend or family member to sit with you and be present while you let things go. Perhaps there is a story you wish to tell about the item before you get rid of it.
Going through things can feel overwhelming. Calm overwhelm by holding the Triple Warmer Neurovasculars (video)
Place an open hand along the side of your face so that your fingers are resting at your temples and your hand is cradling the side of your face.
With your other hand, bring your thumb, index finger, and middle finger together and place it at the base of your throat in the notch right above the your collar bone.
Breath slowly and deeply several times.
Hold this pose until you sigh, yawn, or just feel your calmer and less overwhelmed.
When it comes to helping others:
Set boundaries at the very beginning that they are not to offer you their things. Sometimes people do this as a way to feel less "guilt" around getting rid of something and as the person who is being offered the item it can sometimes be hard to say no because we don't want to hurt someone's feelings. You can let the person know that IF you want something that they have decided to give away, you will collect it from the pile before you take the items to the donation center.
Offer to deliver the items to the donation for them. Sometimes the person getting rid of the stuff will just allow it to collect somewhere else because the act of taking it is just too hard.
Don't rush the individual you are helping. Allow them to tell their stories, reminisce about times gone by. Yes, this takes time. Yes, it can be hard to sit and listen when you have other things to do. However, I think you will find the person may be able to let go of more without then regretting their decision afterward.
Take pictures or videos of items they want the memory of. Make the pictures available online or on a CD for them to look through when they want to. This can be particularly important if the person is an artist. Letting go of the things that we spent hours creating can be very hard!
Here's to letting go of that which no longer services us and having the energy to enjoy that which does!
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